My Greatest Startup Lesson

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.”  – Nicole Reed

My Greatest Startup Lesson: The True Purpose of a Business

It's late December, and I’m sitting at my parent’s kitchen table. My brother and sister are both staring at me, a bit too quietly. My sister finally speaks up: “You can’t keep going like this.”

Just a few months earlier, I had launched my first business—a career coaching practice. I was excited. I had left my job and was all-in on this new venture. I spent months crafting principles, testing my concept, and gathering feedback. When I launched, I boldly advertised workshops called Rediscover Your Dream to help people find their true calling. It felt right. People showed up, I coached them, and it was working... until the money ran out.

What my brother and sister saw—what I couldn’t (yes, I was being a donkey)—was that the business wasn’t sustainable. At least, not the way I was doing it. It was time to regroup, get a job, and rethink everything. A tough pill to swallow, but it was necessary. I did eventually relaunch the business successfully, but the mistake I made back then? I see it repeated by aspiring entrepreneurs over and over again.

This brings me to an exercise I use in workshops with first-time entrepreneurs, which illustrates the lesson I learned the hard way:

The Motive vs. The Purpose of a Business

On a flip chart (or whiteboard), I draw a line down the middle. On the left, I write, Motive to Start My Business. I ask the group to share their reasons for wanting to start a business. Most of the responses fall into familiar categories:

To be my own boss

To express creativity

To make an impact

To earn more money

To make a difference

Flexibility

Once everyone has shared, I turn to the right side and title it, Purpose of a Business. Then, I ask: What do you think the actual purpose of a business is? After a brief awkward pause, hands start going up, and people offer responses like:

To help the economy

To solve a problem

To provide value

To employ others

To create impact

To make a profit

I listen, then grab a red marker and cross off all but one answer under Purpose of a Business: To make a profit. That gets their attention.

The Hard Truth

The purpose—the only purpose—of a business is to find and keep customers at a profit. (A shout-out here to Michael Gerber’s classic, The E-Myth).

Notice what’s missing? The purpose of a business isn’t to fulfill your personal needs, express your creativity, or have complete control over your destiny. Those things might be important to you, but they’re not why businesses exist. Your customers don’t care about your dreams—they care about whether you can solve their problems in a way that’s worth paying for.

People sometimes challenge me when I don’t include “creating value” or “solving a problem” in the core definition. And yes, businesses must create value and solve problems. But here’s the thing: you can create value and solve problems all day long (e.g., giving career advice to students), but if no one’s willing to pay for it, you don’t have a business.

This is why I emphasize the need to be customer-focused, not self-focused. It’s easy to romanticize the idea of starting a business—especially if your current situation is less than ideal. Maybe you hate your job, feel unappreciated, or believe you have more to offer the world. Those are all valid motivations. But they can also blind you to the real work required to make a business successful.

It’s Not About You (At First)

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be your own boss or to make a difference. But starting a business means you’ll have to focus on things that don’t always feel as rewarding: sales, managing your finances, iterating your idea, and doing the uncomfortable work that keeps the business alive. Most people shy away from these tasks, especially if they think running their own business will be more freeing.

In reality, we tend to revert to our donkey nature and do what’s comfortable—even if it’s not in our best interest. It doesn’t mean you can’t learn the skills necessary to succeed, like sales or money management, but don’t fool yourself into thinking it will come easily just because it’s your own venture.

Here’s one way to avoid placing unrealistic expectations on your business: get your personal needs met outside of it. Want to be more creative? Take up painting or those guitar lessons you’ve always dreamed of. Want to make an impact? Volunteer at a food bank or teach a local class. Crave more control? Start saying “no” to things that drain your energy.

The truth is, no single thing—whether it’s a job, a business, or even a relationship—can meet all your emotional needs. Stop placing such a heavy burden on your business to be everything for you.

The Paradox

Here’s the paradox: by focusing on the necessary business skills—like customer acquisition, financial management, and sustainability—you’ll eventually gain the creativity, control, and impact you were after all along.

The difference between Your Motive and The Purpose of a Business is a recurring blind spot for many first-time entrepreneurs, which is why it deserves a deeper exploration. In my next post, I’ll dive into a closely related topic: how our vision can often sabotage our expectations.

P.S.:  On this Thanksgiving Day, I want to take a moment to appreciate all the things that money can’t buy.