The Sabotaging Mindset, Part 2: Selling Yourself Short

"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears." – Nelson Mandela

How You View Yourself

Last week, I shared how your worldview can hold you back. In this blog, I’ll explore the inner dialogue you have with yourself and how it can make or break your business success.

Selling Yourself Short: The Dani Story

Dani*, who runs an alarm systems company, came to me feeling unsure about her entrepreneurial chops. “I have an aversion to selling and am terrible at managing my money,” she admitted.

I pointed out that she had no trouble selling herself to me during our conversation. She convincingly explained how good she was at her work.

“That’s different,” she said quickly.

“Not really,” I replied. “Selling is part of everyone’s life. We do it all the time; we just tend to associate selling with sleazy pitches. But that outdated view doesn’t hold up anymore. These days, transparency is what counts.”

“There are certain traits salespeople have—I just don’t have them,” she insisted.

I reminded her that even the best salespeople carry self-limiting beliefs. A study by Objective Management Group** found:

• Most salespeople have 10-12 self-limiting beliefs.

• The top performers? They still have 6 or fewer.

• Nearly 59% of salespeople fear not being liked.

  
  

I asked Dani to list her own self-limiting beliefs so we could rewrite her narrative. Here’s what she came up with:

Rewriting Self-Limiting Beliefs

1. “I’ll blabber and make a fool of myself.”

   New belief: “I’ll listen more, then respond. Silence is okay.”

   
   

2. “I’m just not a natural salesperson.”

   New belief: “Most people don’t start out as natural salespeople—they grow into it. So can I.”

   
   

3. “I feel like I’m manipulating others.”

   New belief: “I’ll focus on understanding who my best customers are and show the value that matters to them.”

   
   

4. “I won’t know how to handle objections.”

   New belief: “Like anything, I’ll practice and get better at handling objections over time.”

   
   

This last one is especially critical: practice. Sales is one of the Four Pillars (see previous blog), and mastery comes through consistent effort.

Money Matters: Your Beliefs About Finances

The second area where self-limiting beliefs trip up entrepreneurs is money. You can’t avoid it. The way you handle personal finances will likely carry over into your business.

If you Google why most businesses fail, “running out of money” tops the list. But I’d argue the real issue isn’t understanding numbers—it’s believing them. Many entrepreneurs avoid confronting financial realities because they fear what the numbers will reveal.

What’s Your Money Mindset?

Can you identify with any of these financial archetypes?

• Free-Spirit Spender: “Life is short; I deserve to enjoy it now!”

• Accumulator: “I can’t take any risks—money is always tight.”

• Over-Extender: “I’ll borrow because I need this now. Waiting isn’t an option.”

• Passion Spender: “It’s an investment in my passion, so it’s worth it!”

When any of these dominate at the expense of sound financial decisions, both you and your business suffer.

Changing Your Money Mindset

So much of our relationship with money comes from what we saw growing up. Changing these ingrained patterns takes time, but it’s possible.

Start with this mantra:“I can manage my money. I will make it a priority. Money is neither good nor bad—it serves a larger purpose in my life.”

To begin:

1. Face the numbers. Assess your financial situation as it is, not as you wish it were.

2. Make time. Start small with something like “Cash Flow Tuesdays.” Dedicate a morning to reviewing your finances. Avoid doing it at the end of the day when you're tired.

3. Stick to the routine. Resist excuses (e.g., “I’ll do it tomorrow”) and hold yourself accountable.

   
   

The same principle applies to sales: schedule it in. For instance, “Sales Wednesdays” can help you stay consistent.

Practicing the Pillars

When I met Dani eight months later, she had launched her business. It wasn’t smooth sailing at first, but she recently landed a lucrative client.

“What kept you going?” I asked.

She shared her mantra:“I’m getting better every day. Even when I fall off the horse, I get back on and keep practicing my craft.”

Dani also started a peer mentoring group with like-minded entrepreneurs. It gave her a sense of community and accountability—something she looked forward to every month.

Coming Up Next

In my next blog, I’ll show you how to set up your own peer mentoring group. (Hint: It ties into the Relationship Pillar!)

*The name and business have been changed for confidentiality.

**Source: Objective Management Group Study