Your Identity in the Making

Direction is more important than speed. — Richard L. Evans

Lia* started a business in health and well-being, claiming to use “a revolutionary approach to nutrition and fitness.” When she came to me, she had been at it for seven months and felt stuck. Sales were low, and funds were running out.

“I thought more people would see the benefit of this approach. I know I’m challenging the status quo,” she said.

“And how are you challenging your own status quo?” I asked.

“Well, I started a business and left a steady paycheck,” she replied.

“That’s just the beginning. Being an entrepreneur invites more nuanced questions—four, in particular, that really test you.”

“Please share,” Lia said.

“I will if you answer them honestly.”

“I’m open-hearted and open-minded,” she smiled.

1. What are you willing to change about yourself? What’s uncomfortable but necessary?

Lia paused. “I hate selling. I’m not much of a networker either.”

“That’s exactly where you need to go. Only, reframe it. Selling is simply connecting with people—understanding where they are and seeing if you can help. If not, refer them to someone else.”

She hesitated. “Okay… What’s the next question?”

2. What will you sacrifice?

“Time,” she said quickly.

“We all sacrifice time. That’s a given.”

“Then... more money? Maybe I can borrow some to hold me over?”

“Be careful. Throwing more money at a problem can be a way to avoid facing it. Especially when funds are tight, borrowing just to pay yourself is one of the worst moves you can make.”

“So then what—quit and get a job?”

“Or get creative. Does it have to be all or nothing? Must it be a full-time job?”

“That only leaves part-time work at a restaurant—the job I left to start this.”

“There’s your sacrifice. You don’t have to give up the dream; you support it. The smartest decision is often the toughest.”

Long pause.

“I’m scared to hear the next question. But go ahead.”

3. How will you overcome your own resistance?

“Try harder to convince people?”

“I’m not talking about their resistance. I’m talking about yours. How do you deal with the discomfort, the self-sabotage, the stuff that’s not fun—but necessary?”

“Yeah… I’ve done that,” she admitted.

Then she thought.

“Schedule my priorities?”

“Exactly. And schedule them when your energy is high—not Friday at 4:30. We’ve all been there.” We laughed.

“You have to dance with your resistance. Again and again. Entrepreneurship is a craft, and rigid expectations are your worst enemy.”

“I hope the last question isn’t as intense,” she chuckled.

“It’s not. It’s inspiring. And maybe the most important.”

4. What identity are you building?

I gave her some context.

“We all carry different identities: friend, sister, parent, co-worker. Each one shapes the stories we tell ourselves—and the actions we take. As an entrepreneur, you’re shaping a new identity. So am I. Don’t aim to be ‘the smartest entrepreneur alive.’ Aim to build what I call an identity of becoming—something that stretches you but makes you feel lighter and brighter.”

I provided some examples:

• Savvy Entrepreneur

• Foundation Builder

• Curious Opportunist

• Make-it-Happen Instigator

• Streetwise Activator

• Business-wise, Mission-driven Entrepreneur

  
  

“Or create your own,” I said.

“I like Savvy Entrepreneur,” said Lia.

“Perfect. You don’t have to fake success; you live your way into it. Each time you do something uncomfortable, work that part-time job, or stay consistent with your priorities—you reinforce your identity of becoming.”

“I guess I’m being tested,” she said.

The Greater the Dream, the Greater the Change

Here’s the essential truth: The bigger the dream, the more you’ll need to grow—and reinvent yourself.

Lia ended up taking that part-time job at a restaurant. Three months later, I walked by the place and caught her eye. She was mid-shift, but when she saw me, she lit up and waved. I waved back. That smile? It made my day.

Later, I checked her website and social media—her business was still operational and still offering services.

Right at the top of her site, she had posted this quote:

“Direction is more important than speed.” — Richard L. Evans

*Name and business details changed for confidentiality.